


A new beginning

by BekahLeigh



Category: 21 Jump Street
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-12
Updated: 2011-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 07:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/222652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BekahLeigh/pseuds/BekahLeigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doug reflects on his past as he and Clavo make their move across the country. **Set immediately after "Number One With A Bullet"**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is my interpretation of what happened to Penhall at the end of "Number One With A Bullet". It always bugged the hell out of me that they never really explained where he went after he resigned. So here you go. And please, please, please review. I need the fix. Thanks and Enjoy.

Doug yawned sleepily as he readjusted himself in his seat, struggling to keep his eyes on the road. "Only six more miles to the motel." he thought thankfully, anxiously looking forward to a hot shower and a soft bed. He glanced over at the passenger in the seat beside him. Clavo had grown so much over the course of their two years together, maturing into a very precocious little boy . But at the moment he looked more childlike than ever, curled up on the seat with his thumb in his mouth, lost in a blissful slumber. He smiled at the sight of his nephew looking so peaceful. Doug had been so worried about breaking the news of this move to Clavo. But the boy had taken it surprisingly well, even acting a little excited about it. But then again, he had been through so much in his short life that he seemed to have learned to just roll with it. They were very similar in that way, both having lost their families at such a young age. Doug had lost his mother to suicide at the age of six, losing his father ten years later after a lengthy battle with the bottle. He had been separated from his brother for five years after that, the younger man having been unable to cope with the loss of their dad. Joey had spent a few years on the streets, floating around from friend to friend, couch to couch, trying to escape the ghosts of his past. Doug had pretty much given up hope of ever seeing his younger brother again, when suddenly, a few months ago, he had shown up out of nowhere, having apparently graduated the from police academy. It had been a tense reunion to say the least, but in time, the old hurts had begun to heal and they were slowly working on rebuilding their relationship. They had grown closer than ever in the past few weeks, brought together by Doug's shooting. Joey had really stepped up, taking care of Clavo in Doug's absence. Clavo and Joey had bonded over that time as well, although they were more playmates than anything. Doug sighed at the thought of his brother, feeling the guilt start to return. He remembered the look on Joey's face when he had told him he was quitting the force and moving halfway across the country. Joey had looked so devastated that he had almost changed his mind. But in the end, he did what he had to do to keep Clavo safe. He had handed in his badge, ultimately putting an end to his law enforcement career and one of the best periods of his life. But despite his doubts, he knew deep down that he had done the right thing. His only worry now was the uncertainty of what lay ahead.

The lights of the motel sign came into view as a new wave of fatigue rolled over Doug. He sighed in relief as he reached over to rouse his nephew.

"Hey Clavo, wake up buddy. We're at the motel." he said, shaking the boy lightly by the shoulder.

Clavo just turned his head to the side as he mumbled in protest. "Uncle Doug, I'm sleeping, leave me alone."

Doug just laughed at the little boy. That was another thing they had in common, they both hated to be disturbed when they were sleeping.

He pulled into the lot, stopping by the office to pick up their room key. He could feel the tension begin to drain from him as he stepped out of the truck, stretching his muscles before collecting their bags from the floor of the vehicle. He lifted Clavo, who was now snoring softly, effortlessly from the seat, slamming the door with his hip as they made their way to the room. He unlocked the door to the small room, flipping on the light as he entered. He smiled as he saw that the room had two twin sized beds instead of one full sized. He usually didn't mind having to share a bed with Clavo, but the boy was a bit of a kicker, and Doug was so exhausted that all he really wanted was eight hours of uninterrupted slumber. He gently placed Clavo on one of the beds, tucking him in securely beneath the covers. He was thankful he had let Clavo change into his pajamas at the last rest stop. He kissed the boy lightly on the forehead before heading over to flip off the light. He walked into the bathroom, quickly shedding his clothes as he stepped into the small shower, turning the hot water on full blast. As he washed away the dirt of the last few days' travel he could feel his body begin to relax. He turned off the water, stepping out onto the cold tile floor. He dried himself and threw on an old pair of sweats. He felt exhaustion begin to take him as he stepped out of the bathroom and walked over to his bed. He threw back to covers and crawled in, body sinking into the soft mattress as he laid his head on the pillow. He took one last glance at Clavo, making sure he was okay. Seeing that the little boy was still out cold, Doug closed his eyes and let himself drift off into a deep sleep.

..........

 

Doug could feel the warmth of the sun on his face, forcing him to slowly open his eyes. He sat up in the bed, feeling very stiff as if he had not moved all night. He glanced around the room groggily, trying to let his eyes adjust to the light. He smiled as he saw Clavo sitting on the floor, playing with the action figures Judy had given him before they left. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head before rolling out of bed. He reached over to ruffle Clavo's hair, smiling down at the little boy before he spoke.

"Good morning buddy, how'd you sleep?"

Clavo grinned at the sound of Doug's voice, happy to see that his uncle had finally woken up. "I slept okay, I just don't remember how we got here." he said with a small trace of an accent on his lips as he spoke. "You've been asleep forever though."

Doug glanced around the room, trying to find a clock. Unable to locate one, he stood up, stumbling to the bathroom to retrieve his watch. He gasped as he looked down at the ticking hands, seeing that it was now a quarter after ten. He had planned to be back on the road by 8:00, wanting to reach their final destination before dark. He shrugged his shoulders though, not really regretting the extra sleep he had indulged in. He had really needed it. He took care of his morning business, splashing some cold water on his face before walking back into the main room. He noted that Clavo had already gotten himself dressed and packed up. He grabbed his bag, throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as he shoved the rest of his things back into the duffel. Clavo had noticed his uncle's movements and had already packed away his toys, waiting patiently for Doug to finish up. Doug had flopped back down on the edge of the bed, and was leaning over to tie up the laces of his old white chucks. He stood up, giving the room a final glance to make sure they hadn't left anything behind. Seeing that they had collected all of their things, he turned to the young boy now staring at him.

"All right buddy, you ready to hit the road?"

"Ready to go, but Uncle Doug, can we get something to eat first? I'm starving."

Doug felt his own stomach begin to growl as Clavo mentioned food. He was pretty hungry himself.

"Yeah, we'll hit up a drive through on the way. Let's go."

Doug grabbed their bags, locking the room as they walked down to the office to check out. Once he had settled their bill, he loaded their bags back in the truck, lifting Clavo up into his seat and buckling him in securely. He walked around the front of the truck, climbing into the driver's seat and fastening his own seat belt as he turned to key. The engine roared to life as he shifted into reverse and pulled out of the lot, beginning the final leg of their journey. As they drove down the highway, Doug scanned his surroundings, seeking something to quiet the ever growing rumble in his stomach. He finally saw a sign for a Dunkin Donuts, and merged into the turning lane to pull into the small lot. He frowned as he saw that they didn't have a drive through. He pulled the truck to the back of the lot, quickly cutting the engine and reaching over to unbuckle Clavo's seat belt.

He jumped down from the cab as Clavo slid over on the seat and climbed onto his back like a monkey. Doug laughed as he carried the boy piggyback into the restaurant, smiling as the smell of coffee filled his nostrils. When it was their turn to order, he approached the young girl at the counter, eyes scanning over the menu hanging above her head. The counter girl smiled at the gorgeous man in front of her. "What can I get for you boys?"

"Um, I'll have two of those sausage muffin things and the biggest, blackest coffee you have." Doug replied, turning to the boy currently attached to his back. "What do you want Clavo?"

Clavo smiled down at his uncle, trying to give his most innocent face. "Uncle Doug, can I have a sprinkle doughnut?"

Doug looked back disapprovingly at his nephew. "Clavo, why don't you have a muffin or a bagel or something at least a little healthy?" he asked. But all Clavo had to do was pout his little lips and Doug could feel all of the fight leave him. "Fine, I guess that's okay. After all, if you can't eat junk for breakfast on a road trip, when can you?"

Clavo smiled and looked back to the girl waiting for his order. "Can I please have a chocolate sprinkle donut and a coffee?" he asked politely. Doug coughed a little when he heard that last part. "Better make that a milk." he told the counter girl, who was looking at him sympathetically.

"No worries honey, I have a little boy about his age at home. They say the funniest things, don't they?" she said, smiling a little too brightly.

"Yeah."Doug replied, suddenly a little tense as the blond girl began to bat her eyes and flip her hair, in an attempt to flirt with him.

He paid for their order and stood there uncomfortably for a few moments as they waited for their food. He was relieved when they were handed their bags, and he was able to escape, leaving behind the counter girl who was staring at his ass as he walked through the door. He got Clavo strapped back into his seat, handing him his food before climbing into his own seat. He started the truck and they were off. Doug grabbed the map from the glove box, spreading it on his lap as he popped the plastic cap on his coffee. He pulled the wrapper off the first of his sandwiches, easily finishing it in three bites. He glanced down at the map, noting that if they stayed on this highway they would reach their final destination by about 9:00 that night. It was a little later than he had wanted, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He finished off his second sandwich, tossing the wrapper on the floor. Glancing over at Clavo, he laughed as he saw that the little boy's face was now covered in chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles. He tossed a napkin at Clavo, who took it and wiped the sticky mess off his cheeks. They smiled at each other, both satisfied with their unhealthy morning meal. Doug returned his eyes to the road, and began to contemplate the trip ahead of him. They sat quietly for a moment before Clavo broke the silence.

"She liked you, you know." he said.

Doug looked over at him curiously. "Who?"

"The doughnut girl, she liked you. I could tell."

"She did? I didn't really notice her."

"You did too. She was really pretty."

"Yeah, I guess she was okay. Too late now though." Doug lied, wanting to change the subject.

"You know, there are a lot of girls who like you. All my friends' moms said you were cute. One of them even called you a babe. How come you don't ever have a girlfriend?"

Doug hesitated for a moment, pondering the question. "Well buddy, I guess I just haven't found anyone I really liked like that."

"Oh, okay." Clavo replied, easily accepting the answer and dropping the subject.

Doug sighed as the conversation ended. He had asked himself the same question from time to time. Why was he still alone after all this time? It certainly wasn't for lack of possibilities. He had noticed the women who gave him a second glance, who flirted and complimented. But he just couldn't bring himself to show any interest in them. His heart belonged to someone else. No matter how futile it may be. He shook the thoughts away, focusing on the white lines before him.

..........

 

They had made some headway, driving straight through for about four hours when he noticed Clavo starting to squirm in his seat. "Hey buddy, I think it's time for a pit stop."

He pulled over at the first gas station he saw, steering the large truck over to the nearest pump. Clavo didn't even wait for Doug as he unbuckled his seat belt and bolted from the cab, running as he disappeared into the restroom. Doug just laughed at the sight as he started the gas pump and followed behind, badly needing to use the restroom himself. When they finished up, Doug paid the attendant for their gas, also grabbing a few drinks and some snacks for Clavo. They reentered the truck, now ready to hit the road again. Clavo reached over and clicked on the radio as they pulled back onto the highway, smiling as he heard a song he liked. The little boy began to sing along with the radio, munching on pretzel sticks between verses. Doug heart began to swell at the sound of Clavo's happiness. He really was an amazing kid, losing most of his family to the fighting in El Salvador, leaving his mother behind to move halfway across the world to live with what had been a virtual stranger at the time. But he had adjusted well, easily learning English and adjusting to the differences of life in America. Things were very different for him here and Doug had done everything he could to make sure that Clavo got to enjoy being a child, in a way that he himself never had. He reached over and ruffled the boy's hair as he started to sing along with him.

"Life is a highway, I wanna drive it all night long. If you're going my way, I wanna ride it all night long."

They laughed as the song ended, changing over to some horrible dance beat that made Doug cringe, but Clavo seemed to like it. He danced a little in his seat, still munching on his pretzels as he took a big gulp from his bottle of apple juice. Doug just smiled as we watched his nephew. He honestly loved the kid, he couldn't help it. He shook his head a little at the thought, still not quite believing the way his life had changed. If someone had told him five years ago that he, bad ass Doug Penhall, would one day be a single father, he probably would have arrested them for possession. But here he was, raising this little boy on his own. He began to twist his wedding ring around his finger absentmindedly. Marta. He sighed at the thought of his late wife. Though he had truly cared for her, he had admitted to himself long ago that he had married her mainly out of guilt, wanting to protect her from being sent back to El Salvador. But in the end, it hadn't helped. The government had deported her, all but signing her death certificate by sending her back to the war torn country. She had disappeared almost as soon as she arrived. Doug had tried to forget her, but the guilt had eaten away at him for months. He had finally made the decision to go find her, traveling to El Salvador. But he had been too late to save her. She had been buried mere days before his arrival. But her life had not been in vain. She had brought Clavo to him and he thanked her every day for it.

They drove on for another few hours, Clavo singing and chattering away. He was starting to wear down and had begun to doze off in his seat when he turned to Doug. "Uncle Doug, do you think I'll like it at our new house?" he asked, yawning a little bit.

Doug turned to the boy. "You'll love it, I promise. You'll have a nice big room and there is a park right down the street. Plus, I heard that they have a really good school with a great little league team."

Clavo yawned once more as he replied. "That's good. I liked my old team a lot. Will you be our coach again?"

"Not sure buddy, we'll just have to wait and see. Why don't you close your eyes for a while, you're looking pretty sleepy."

Clavo didn't need to be told twice. He just nodded as his eyes closed and he drifted off to dream of a big house and new friends.

Doug pulled his sweatshirt off the back of his seat and draped it over the sleeping boy. He glanced down at the map, seeing that they were only about three hours away now. He smiled, more than ready to be done with this trip. He began to feel a little anxious, wondering if his promise to Clavo could be kept. He didn't really know much about the new town, other than what his friend had told him. But he knew he had a job waiting for him and that had been enough. Doug wondered what it would be like, working a regular job for the first time since he was seventeen. He didn't really have any skills that weren't related to law enforcement. He had graduated from the academy at 19, getting assigned to Jump Street the following year. He smiled as he recalled his first day at the chapel, meeting Jenko and Judy for the first time, Harry and Tom being assigned to the unit shortly after. Jenko had been one of a kind, the kind of man that marched to the beat of his own drummer, no matter how off key it may have been at times. He had become a father figure for his young officers and they had all been devastated by his death. They had become a family by then, and Jenko's death had only solidified that status. Even when the program had been shut down, and they had been scattered around the force like the misfits they were, they had remained close. But when the program was reformed and revamped, they had had to contend with a new Captain and they had all had a hard time accepting the new authority figure. But in time, they had come to accept Captain Adam Fuller into their group, never really as a father figure as Jenko had been, but as more of a cranky uncle. It had been an amazing time in his life, full of excitement and fun and occasionally pain. He thought back to Harry's shooting, Judy's rape, and Tom's arrest. Harry and Judy had bounced back from their respective incidents relatively unscathed, but even after his release, Tom had never seemed to fully recover from the trauma of his false imprisonment. Publicly, he acted like he was fine, but in private, he was a wreck. He had confided in Doug, telling him his doubts about what he was doing. He never really regained the passion he once had for the law, it had become painfully obvious near the end. But no one had really expected him to just pick up and leave, not only abandoning his job but his friends and family. His own mother didn't even know where he had gone at first. He had just disappeared, leaving behind only his badge, his gun, and the furniture in his apartment. Doug had felt so betrayed at the time, not able to grasp that his best friend was really gone. But Clavo had provided enough of a distraction that he had been able to push the thoughts of his partner from his mind. It had been over a year since it had happened, though it seemed so much longer. Like another life really. But now, that period of his life was over. He looked forward to the future that lay before him, full of new possibilities and opportunities for him and his little boy.


	2. Chapter 2

Clavo had woken up after almost two hours of napping, completely recharged. He was now wide awake and very hungry. Doug glanced at the sky and saw that the sun was beginning to set. He spotted a small diner on the side of the road and pulled over, parking the truck in the back of the unpaved lot. They were currently on a rural route, only about an hour away from their destination. But hunger had called and they had no choice but to answer. They walked into the little diner, both using the rest room before seating themselves in a small booth. Doug placed their order with the middle aged waitress, ordering a bacon cheeseburger for himself and some chicken strips for Clavo. Clavo fidgeted impatiently as they waited for their food. Doug smiled in relief when after what had seemed to be an eternity, he saw the waitress exit the kitchen, bringing with her their much anticipated meals. Clavo attacked his food as soon as the plate hit the table, not even noticing the steam still rising from the deep fried chicken. Doug just laughed as he thanked the waitress and turned to his own meal. He almost moaned in pleasure as he bit into the huge greasy burger. He felt a little twinge of guilt, but he quickly silenced it with another bite. He had recently lost a ton of weight and had no intentions of ever putting it back on. But like he had told Clavo this morning, if you couldn't eat junk on a road trip, then when could you. But still, he silently scolded himself as he shoved a french fry in his mouth. "I'll just have to make up for this once we're settled." he though as he took a sip of his Diet Coke. Clavo had pretty much inhaled his meal, currently munching on his last few fries. Doug finished his meal as well, gulping down the last of soda. He rummaged in his wallet for a few bills, dropping them on the table before making their way back out to the truck. Once they were situated, Doug pulled out of the lot, quickly glancing down at the map. Their exit was only about two miles down the road. He spotted the road into town and carefully maneuvered the truck into the sharp turn.

"Not much further now and we'll be there. You getting excited?" he asked Clavo after a while, as the lights of the small town came into view.

Clavo had been occupied with looking out the window, trying to commit every detail of this new place to memory. "I'm really excited Uncle Doug. How close are we?"

"Only about 10 more minutes now." Doug replied, glancing at the street signs he passed. The town really did look promising, full of quaint houses and tree lined streets. He turned right as he saw the street he was seeking. They had entered the small shopping district now, but instead of the bland corporate buildings he had expected, he was surprised to find that it was as charming as the rest of the town, the streets lined with small shops and businesses. Clavo was staring out the window of the truck, wide eyed as he examined the town. It was unlike any place he had ever been. He turned back to Doug, grinning as he spoke.

"I like it here. It's really pretty."

Doug nodded back in agreement. "Yeah, it is pretty nice." he replied. They were on the right street now. He scanned the buildings, searching them for the right number. He smiled as he spotted the building at the end of the street. He steered the truck into the lot, pulling around to the back of the business to the small area that contained their new home. Clavo smiled as he saw the house, a blue double wide trailer that was parked next to a similar white model. The homes were surrounded by a small fenced in lawn, a brand new swing set waiting in one corner of the yard. It was simple, but it was theirs, and for Clavo, it was by far the nicest place he had ever lived.

"Is that it?" he asked as he pointed out the window at the home, bouncing in his seat with excitement.

"That's it. I guess you like it huh?" Doug asked laughingly, questioning the boy who was currently trying to escape from his seat belt. He reached over and pushed the button on the belt, freeing Clavo from his restraint. Clavo waited impatiently as Doug parked the truck, only waiting for the engine to stop before he threw open the door and jumped down from the cab, racing for the gate. Doug opened his own door, grabbing their bags before walking over to the boy waiting at the gate.

"Uncle Doug, look over there."Clavo exclaimed as he pointed at the swing set. "Can I go play on it, please?"

Doug laughed at his nephew's enthusiasm. "Of course you can, its yours." he replied with a smile on his face.

That was all Clavo needed to hear and he was off, running full speed at his new toy. He was climbing the ladder to the tree house when Doug called over to him. "Not too long though buddy, it's pretty late. I'm just going to grab the keys to the house, okay?"

Clavo called something back in reply, but Doug couldn't really decipher it. He was so caught up in the joy of his new toy, he really couldn't be bothered to pay much attention to his uncle. Doug just grinned as he dropped their bags on the front steps of their new home and walked over to the neighboring house to greet his new business partner and collect his keys. He climbed the steps to the porch, smiling as he noticed the car parked next to the home. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but it was already opening. His smile grew at the sight of the man before him.

"Tommy."

..........

 

He barely had a chance to speak before the smaller man grabbed him, pulling him in close for a hug. They held each other tightly for a moment, the past year momentarily forgotten. When they finally separated, the examined each other carefully. Tom smiled as he looked his former partner up and down, noticing the change in his physique.

"Damn Dougie, You're looking good." Tom teased, poking Doug in the stomach.

Doug blushed a little at the comment, before reaching over to ruffle Tom's now shoulder length brown hair. "I could say the same about you. I love the hair, by the way."

They looked at each other for a moment more, each wanting to speak but neither finding the courage to say all the things they needed to say. Tom finally broke the silence, asking where Clavo was. Doug threw his arm around his friends shoulder as he led him off the porch, walking over to where his nephew was currently swinging. Tom gasped audibly as the little boy came into view.

"Holy crap Doug, what have you been feeding that kid? I swear he's grown a foot since I saw him last." Tom exclaimed in disbelief.

Doug pulled his arm from the smaller man's shoulders, crossing the small yard to Clavo and lifting him off the swing and into his arms. He whispered something to the boy and pointed over to where Tom stood. Clavo jumped out of Doug's arms and ran over to Tom, wrapping his arms around his waist as he hugged him tightly. Tom's heart swelled with love at the contact, unable to believe that this little boy still remembered him after all this time. Clavo pulled away, smiling brightly up at Tom. "Uncle Tommy, I missed you. Do you live here too?"

Tom kneeled down to face Clavo, happy to see that he was still considered Uncle Tommy. "Yep. I live right next door to you and Doug, in that white house right over there." he replied, pointing at his trailer. "And I missed you too buddy."

Doug had moved back to his place by Clavo, full of joy at the sight of he and Tom's reunion. He hoisted his nephew back into his arms, swinging him onto his back as they all made their way back to Tom's porch.

"Hey Tom, do you have those keys. I have got to get the little man here to bed." Doug asked as he remembered what time it was.

"Doug, where are you planning on putting him? All of your stuff is still on the truck, remember?" Tom replied.

"You do have a point there." Doug admitted.

"Come on man, you guys are crashing here tonight. I'll show you the house in the morning." Tom commanded, leading Doug and Clavo inside his home.

Doug glanced around the house, pleasantly surprised as he saw that the home was rather spacious inside. It was sparsely decorated, but the items that did fill the rooms were bright and welcoming, a far cry from the dark gloom that had seemed to fill Tom's former home.

"Nice place Tommy. It's very...you." Doug said finally.

"Thanks man. I'm pretty fond of it myself." Tom replied. "Well, come on guys, let me show you around."

Tom gave them a quick tour of the home, before showing Doug to the spare bedroom. He left them alone for a moment to allow Doug get Clavo ready for bed. Once the little boy had been tucked in for the night, Doug emerged from the room, looking exhausted and somehow excited all at once. He walked back out to the living room to find Tom sitting on the sofa, looking strangely tense. He smiled as he saw Doug enter the room, but there was still a hint of nervousness on his face. Doug sat down on the seat next to him, beginning to tense up a bit himself. They looked at each other for a moment, neither knowing where to begin.

"You know, I was really surprised when I got your letter." Doug said finally.

"Yeah, when my mom called me at told me about your shooting It took everything I had not to just jump in the car and drive back to Washington. But I couldn't just leave this place alone. So once I heard that you were going to be okay, I figured that I would just write you. I had a feeling that you wouldn't be going back to the force after that. I tried to figure out a way to help, and that's when I came up with this whole idea. I really did need some help here, and the other house was just sitting there, empty. I'm really just surprised that you agreed to it." Tom confessed.

"It seemed like my best option. Anyway, I've really missed you Tom." Doug said, eyes revealing the true depth of that statement.

"I've missed you too Doug, more than you know." Tom replied, a hint of sadness creeping into his voice.

"Then why did you leave?" Doug asked, sighing as he asked a question that deep down he already knew the answer to...

..........

 

(Flashback)  
Doug and Tom slammed their glasses down on the table, having downed their third (or fourth, or fifth, they weren't really counting) shots simultaneously. Judy had offered to keep Clavo at her place for the weekend and Doug had jumped at the opportunity, badly needing a night of drinking with his buddies. He, Tom and Harry had all converged at his new apartment, opting to stay in instead of going out. They had been having a great time, going through almost a case of beer between them. But Harry had had to bow out early, needing to make an appearance in the morning for a case he was currently working. Tom and Doug had continued the party, ordering in a pizza and breaking out a bottle of Jack Daniels. They were having fun, talking, laughing, and rocking out to some new tapes Tom had brought over. But after a few hours of their drunken partying, they had both begun to wear down. They started laughing as they both realized the irony of the situation. They both looked young enough to still pass as a high school kid, but they certainly couldn't drink like one anymore. They were still laughing as they collapsed onto the sofa, almost unable to stop due to the alcohol that was flowing through their systems. Doug threw his arm over Tom's shoulder roughly, pulling the smaller man close as he slurred. "I love ya Tommy, you're like my best friend ever. It's been way to long since we've done this."

Tom smiled crookedly at the larger man, trying to suppress the urge that was currently surging through his body. But it was no use. He had drunk too much, lost all control over his actions. All he could see was Doug, his best friend, looking so enticing sitting there, slightly dazed with a huge grin pasted on his face. Tom debated with himself for a moment more, finally giving himself over to his desires. He tried to maintain his nerve as replied. "I love ya too Dougie." He grabbed him tightly and planted his lips against the surprised mouth of his partner. Doug froze, unable to comprehend what was happening through the drunken fog in his brain. He could feel the pressure of the younger man against his lips, he could feel them begin to part, allowing Tom's tongue to enter into his mouth hungrily. He could feel his own body begin to respond, his arms tightening around his friend as the kiss became more heated, more urgent. But he felt strangely detached from the actions, like his body had been possessed by some primal force. That fear was enough to snap him out of it. He pulled back suddenly, leaving Tom alone on the couch.

"What the hell was that Tommy?" he demanded, not noticing the look of rejection that was creeping across the younger man's face.

Tom could not bring himself to look at Doug. He stared nervously at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck absentmindedly as he tried to find the right words. "I don't know Doug, I just…you were sitting there…and I…I wanted you, you know…I just…I'm sorry." he stuttered apologetically.

Doug just stood there, dazed, still not quite grasping what had just occurred. He looked over at Tom, a strange feeling of guilt rolling over him as he saw the expression on his face. He looked so frail, so hurt, nothing like the smiling young man who had just occupied the space. Doug sat back down on the couch, maintaining a distance between him and his partner. His head began to hurt as he tried to process this new information. Tom was gay? or bisexual? And he was attracted to him? How long had Tom felt this way, and more importantly, why had he never noticed? He began to rub his temples as he attempted at find the courage to speak.

"Tom, why did you do that? You know I'm not gay, or bi, or whatever you are. I love you man, but not like that. You're my best friend." he finally spoke, fixing his gaze on Tom as he waited for a reaction. "I'm not mad or anything, really, I just…I don't understand." he added quickly, truly not wanting to hurt his friend.

Tom could feel his heart begin to break at the sound of his partner's voice. How could he explain that he was in love with him. He had loved Doug for so long that he couldn't even remember when it had begun, it was just an essential part of his being now. He loved everything about the older man, his voice, his stupid jokes, the way his hair was always perfectly styled, even when everything else around him was in a state of chaos. Doug was everything to him, the one bright light in a world full of darkness. But that was over now. He had fucked it up just like everything else in his life. He sighed as he finally raised his eyes from the floor, turning his head to meet Doug's gaze. He might as well come clean now, there was no point in trying to hide anymore.

"Doug, I'm bisexual. I always have been, it's just not something I go around bragging about. I started to like you not long after we met, but obviously I kept that to myself. But over the years, my feelings grew and it's gotten more difficult to keep my secret. You don't know how many times I've wanted to tell you, but I was always silenced by this little voice in the back of my mind telling me that you wouldn't feel the same. I should have listened to it tonight, but I lost control. I just wanted you so badly. I don't know if this is the liquor talking, but for a minute there, when you started to kiss me back, I thought you wanted me too. Obviously, I was wrong."

Doug sat in silence, stunned at Tom's admission. He barely noticed as Tom rose from the couch and began to stumble over to the closet to retrieve his coat. He quickly came to as he realized that Tom was trying to leave.

"Tommy, what the hell do you think you're doing? You're not going anywhere, you're too drunk to drive and you'll never get a cab this late at night." Doug said, grabbing his partner roughly by the arm and dragging him back to the couch, pushing him back into his seat.

Tom started to speak, wanting to protest, but he stopped when he saw the serious look on Doug's face. He knew there was no point in arguing with him right now, not when he was like this. He shrugged his coat back off, tossing it over the back of the cushion as he kicked off his shoes and brought his knees to his chest. His mind swam with all the things he wanted to say, but he didn't bother. He just looked up at his partner, his brown eyes filled with sadness. "Go away Doug, I just want to go to sleep." With that, he lay down on the couch, wrapping his arms around his chest as he turned to face the cushion.

Doug's heart sank at the sight of Tom lying there, broken and defeated. He wanted to reach out to the young man, to comfort him, but he just couldn't do it. He was too upset, too confused by everything that had just happened. He sighed as he reached over to turn off the lamp. He began to walk to his bedroom, when he heard a muffled sob come from the still figure on the sofa. His voice began to break as he spoke into the darkness. "Tommy, I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what else to say. I can't really process this right now. I need some time to think."

He heard a small mumble of response from Tom. He sighed as he turned and disappeared into his bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. He fell back onto his bed, his brain a jumble of thoughts. How had this happened? An hour ago he was slamming back shots with his best friend, and now they were barely speaking. Why had Tommy kissed him, why now? He shuddered as a new though rolled into his mind. Why had he kissed him back? He had, he couldn't really deny it. But why? He wasn't gay. He loved women, he loved everything about them. But he couldn't really argue the fact that when Tommy's lips had pressed against his own, he had felt a fire begin to flow through him, a feeling unlike anything he had ever felt before. He tried to shake the thought from his mind, but it kept returning as the image of his friend came to him. Tommy. He was his best friend, his partner. But he was so much more, he was the one person he could truly be honest with, the one person who saw through the bullshit and knew him for the person he really was. Tom was always there for him, and now Doug knew why. He was in love with him. He couldn't believe he had never noticed it before. But as he thought back over the past few years, he began to see that the signs were there, he had just never made the connection. The way Tom looked at him, the way he always found ways to touch him, the little pokes and punches. It was obvious now that it had been his small attempt at flirting. Doug smiled a little at the thought, oddly flattered, but still curious as to why. He tried to make sense of the mess that currently occupied his mind. He had almost fallen asleep when a sudden realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He jolted awake as it hit him. He loved Tom. He didn't know when it had happened or how, but he loved him. It was the combination of a million little moments, their conversations, the laughter and the pain they had shared through the years. He finally admitted to himself that over the years there had even been moments when he had actually found himself attracted to the younger man. He had always quickly pushed those thoughts away, justifying them by blaming alcohol or sheer loneliness. But he couldn't lie to himself anymore, the attraction was real. Strange and completely foreign to him, but real. He quickly sat up in his bed, overtaken by this epiphany. He rushed out to the living room to talk to Tom, but it was too late. The younger man was gone, having quietly slipped out of the apartment a few minutes after Doug had gone in his bedroom. Doug could feel the panic rising up in his chest as the thought of Tom being behind the wheel entered his mind. He raced over to his window, throwing open the curtain to reveal Tom's mustang, still parked in its spot. A small amount of relief washed over him at the sight, realizing that Tom would never have driven home, not as drunk as he had been. But his relief was short lived as he realized that Tom had been so desperate to leave that he had snuck out like a child. What if he had ruined things, if he had missed his chance? He glanced at the clock, realizing that Tom would be most likely be home by now if he had gotten a cab. He grabbed the phone, quickly dialing his partner's number. The line rang a few times before Doug heard the click of the answering machine "This is Tom, you know what to do."

Doug waited for the beep. "Tom, listen, I really need to talk to you. Please call me back as soon as you get this. It's important. Please call me back." he spoke into the machine, trying to hide the desperation in his voice. He hung up the phone gently. He wanted to jump on his bike and go find Tom, but he was well aware that he was way too hammered to drive. He sighed as he lay down on the couch, feeling exhaustion begin to take him over. He pulled the phone closer, not wanting to miss Tom's call. He slowly closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the darkness.

He had woken up late the next morning, instantly remembering the previous night's events. His heart sank a bit as he realized that Tom had not called, checking the answering machine just in case he had slept through the ring. "Maybe he never heard the message." Doug thought hopefully. He wanted to pick up the phone and call the younger man, but he stopped himself. It would be better to do this in person. He glanced out the window, seeing that Tom's car was now gone. He rushed around his apartment getting ready before he jumped on his bike and headed over to Tom's apartment. He could feel the anticipation building in his chest as he climbed the stairs, reaching a peak as he knocked on his friend's door. He was surprised when the door swung open, revealing the messy apartment. Doug entered, not really noticing anything amiss. He knocked softly on Tom's bedroom door, not wanting to scare him if he was asleep. He got no response. He knocked a little louder, calling Tommy's name, but still he heard nothing. He swung the door open, finding only an empty bed. It was still made, making Doug realize that Tom had not slept in it. Doug looked around the room once more, searching for some answer as to where his friend might be. He got it when he saw that the closet door was ajar. He opened the door only to find empty drawers and hangers. Doug began to panic as he walked back into the living room, finding that things were missing from the rest of the apartment as well. The records and tapes had been removed from their shelves, the books and movies as well. The small stand that usually held the framed pictures of his mother and father now held only dust. Doug sat down on the floor as he realized that Tom was gone. He had left and he wasn't coming back.

Doug spent the next two days trying to locate his friend, checking in with all of their friends and co-workers, visiting all of their usual haunts. But there had been no sign of Tommy anywhere. He had even called Tom's mother, hoping that he would have at least told her where he was going. But all she could tell him was that Tom had called her that night, upset and crying, promising to call her again as soon as he could. Doug's fears were finally confirmed when he arrived at the chapel on Monday morning, only to find Tom's gun and badge lying on his desk beside a small folded piece of paper addressed to him. He could feel the tears beginning to well behind his eyes as he gently unfolded the piece of paper.

Doug,

I'm sorry, but I just can't be here anymore. It's so much more than I can handle. You were the one thing that kept me sane in all of this insanity. But I fucked that up, I know that now. Please just try to find it in your heart to forgive me and please just forget about Friday night. It was a mistake, one that I will regret for the rest of my life. Goodbye my friend.

Love, Tom

He refolded the paper, sliding the note into his pocket. He felt the tears begin to escape their prison, streaming down his cheeks freely now. He was thankful that no one else was in the chapel as he dropped into his chair, placing his face in his hands as he wept. His heart was aching, a mixture of sorrow and anger, anger at himself, and anger at Tom. "It wasn't a mistake." he thought to himself. "You never even gave me a chance to tell you that." He tried to compose himself, wiping his cheeks and and putting on a calm face. He sat there, alone, waiting to break the news to the rest of the crew.


	3. Chapter 3

Doug wiped away the lone tear that had begun to slide down his cheek. He shook the painful memory from his mind, not wanting to remember the hurt he had felt at losing Tom. He looked intently at the man before him, needing to hear the answer spoken.

"Doug, you know why I left. I just couldn't handle things at the time, everything seemed to be coming at me all at once and I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave. But, truthfully, I should thank you. I love the life I have now. I love my job, I love my house, and I love this town. I'm happy here, you know." Tom replied.

Doug couldn't deny that Tom did look happy, healthier even. He thought carefully about his next words. "I know that you had been unhappy, that you really didn't want to be a cop anymore. But you just disappeared, you dropped a bomb on me and left before I ever even had a chance to really respond. Why did you run away that night?"

Tom frowned at the memory of that night. He had tried to forget that the whole incident had ever happened. But he knew that Doug deserved an honest explanation, he owed him that much. "Because when you pulled away from me, I realized that things would never be the same between us again. I know that I shouldn't have run the way I did, but I really couldn't think of a good reason to stay. You told me how you felt and that was that. There wasn't anything left for me there anymore. But I'm fine now, really. I've dealt with the fact that you and I are never going to happen. I would really just like to forget the whole thing. It's over."

"But it wasn't over Tom, not for me. While you were running away, I was left behind, full of guilt and regret. I needed to see you, to be able to talk to you, but you weren't there. It wasn't over for me." he said again as he slid closer to Tom on the sofa, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "It still isn't over."

He kissed the younger man passionately, trying to make his lips express everything he had wanted to say on that fateful night. His hands began to roam over Tom's slim body, his fingers knotting themselves into his long brown hair. He had tried to imagine this moment so many times, but the reality was so much better. The way Tom felt in his arms, the heat behind the friction of their lips. It was a perfect moment. When the two men finally broke the contact, they were both breathing heavily, faces flushed. Doug just smiled as Tom gazed into his eyes in disbelief.

"Doug, what just happened?" Tom asked after a moment, slightly dazed.

"I did something I've wanted to do since the night you left." Doug replied as he reached down to grasp Tom's hands.

"So I was right…. you did kiss me back. But, then why did you tell me you didn't have feelings for me? Why did you get so mad?" Tom asked, voice full of hurt and confusion.

"I wasn't mad, I was stupid and confused and drunk." Doug confessed. "I was scared, scared of what you did and scared of the way it made me feel. But when I went to bed that night, I started to think about everything. And that's when it hit me. I kissed you back because I love you. And if you had stuck around for ten more minutes that night, you would have known that."

Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. It hadn't been a mistake, Doug had felt something that night. His heart began to ache as he thought of all the time they had lost. He should never have left. He had ruined everything. But he hadn't, not really. Doug was here, holding his hands, telling him he loved him. A new wave of realization washed over him as he recalled the words he had just heard pass through Doug's lips. Doug loved him. He felt the pain leave his heart, replaced by an overwhelming feeling of joy. He slipped his slim fingers in between Doug's larger ones, gripping them tighter together as he spoke.

"You love me?"

"I love you Tommy, I just hope that you still feel the same way about me."

Tom couldn't hold back any longer. He pulled the larger man close, wrapping his arms around his neck as he placed a gentle kiss on his warm lips. He smiled as he pulled away, gazing lovingly into Doug's beautiful hazel eyes. "I still love you Doug, I never stopped." he whispered as he leaned forward to kiss him again. Doug returned the gesture, parting his lips to allow his tongue to swipe lightly over Tom's. They held each other tightly, hands frantically beginning to roam over each other's bodies. They were both lost in the moment, wanting nothing more than to rip each other's clothes off and give in to their desires. But they were forced to stop when they heard a small creak come from the end of the hall. They broke apart instantly, moving to separate corners of the couch. They tried their best to look innocent as Clavo came walking into the room, eyes still partly closed with sleep.

"Uncle Doug, I have to pee, really bad. Where's the bathroom?" he said, squirming under the pressure as he spoke.

Doug made a move to stand when he was pushed gently back down by Tom. "You just sit, I'll show him." he said as he rose to lead the little boy to the bathroom. Doug smiled at the gesture, not really used to having any help with his nephew. It was nice. Tom returned a few moments later, having put Clavo back to bed. He plopped down on the couch next to Doug, the larger man throwing an arm over his shoulder. He snuggled closer into the space, feeling as if he was finally where he was meant to be. They sat like that for a while, neither speaking, but strangely comfortable with the silence. Doug began to feel a little bolder, glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Clavo was still in his room before slowly moving his free hand over to Tom's thigh, gently caressing it as his fingers began to creep closer to the visible bulge in Tom's jeans. Tom moaned a little at the touch, as Doug began to rub him through the rough material. Doug took the sound of pleasure as encouragement, and he started to work on opening the button of Tom's jeans. With a little struggle, he undid the restraint, gently pulling down the zipper. He readjusted in his seat, turning himself so that he and Tom were face to face. He leaned in to resume their kiss. He gasped as he felt Tom's fingers slide under his shirt, gliding up his back as they familiarized themselves with the muscles that had not been there a year ago. After much teasing, Doug finally slipped a finger into the waistband of the smaller man's jockeys, lightly running the tip over the head of the increasingly stiff member. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to remove the pressure from his own throbbing erection. Tom could sense his discomfort, and quickly reached between his legs to remedy the situation. They could not be stopped after that. They stumbled into the bedroom, never breaking the contact between them as they quickly rid each other of their constricting garments. They fell back onto the bed, a hot tangle of skin on skin. Doug slid a large hand between their slick bodies, winding his fingers around the long thin shaft of Tom's cock, gently sliding them up and down the throbbing organ. Tom's responding groan was muffled by Doug's mouth on his own, their lips moving together passionately. Doug felt a sudden shock flow through him as the tip of his own cock came in contact with Tom's. He grinned devilishly as a wonderful idea entered his mind. He jerked his hips forward, opening his hand to allow his fingers to wrap themselves around both of their members. Tom cried out in pleasure, breaking his lips from Doug's as he moved them down to suck and bite at his neck. Doug responded by gripping their erections tighter, pumping them furiously. He rolled onto his back, allowing Tom to straddle his muscular thighs. They both knew where this was leading and they stopped their motions for a moment, breathing heavily as they gazed into each other's eyes. "Doug, do you want this?" Tom whispered. Doug responded by kissing Tom passionately before whispering into the younger man's ear.

"More than I've ever wanted anything, just please be gentle."

Tom felt a wave of lust roll through him as he realized that Doug wanted him to be on top, to be in control. It was something he had never imagined, always picturing Doug being the one to ravage him. But as he stared into his lovers deep hazel eyes, he realized that he wanted it too.

"I'll be gentle babe, just be patient with me. I've never done this before."

Doug's eyes followed Tom across the room as the younger man walked to his dresser, returning with a condom and a small plastic bottle. He slid himself to the edge of the bed, full of anticipation as he watched Tom roll the protection over his erection before generously coating it with the contents of the bottle. He lay back on the sheets as Tom came to stand before him, gently spreading his legs as he lifted them to rest against his chest. Their eyes never broke contact as Tom stepped forward, bringing the slick tip of his cock into contact with Doug's asshole for the first time. Doug groaned at the sensation, feeling it spread as Tom began to enter him, slowly and carefully. He winced slightly as a burnng sensation began to fill him. Tom froze when he saw the pained expression on his lovers face.

"Goddammit, I'm hurting you. Do you want me to stop?" Tom asked

"Hell no, It's worth the pain." he growled as he wrapped his legs tightly around Tom's waist, gritting his teeth and thrusting his hips forward, fully encasing Tom's cock within him. He cried out sharply, not fully realizing just how badly the penetration would hurt. "Not as bad as being shot though" he thought laughingly, trying to distract himself from the tearing pain. Tom stood completely still, afraid to move, not wanting to cause him any more discomfort. But the uncomfortable feeling began to ebb away, leaving behind only a tremendous sensation of pressure.

"It's okay Tommy, you can move. Just go slow."

Tom gently withdrew his cock from the tight orifice, reentering with slightly more force. Doug groaned at the sensation, giving Tom permission to hasten his movements. He began to thrust himself harder into the large body, increasing his speed as sounds of pleasure began to escape Doug's lips. He grasped Doug's hips, lifting them slightly as he changed the angle of his movements, trying to find his lovers sweet spot. He knew he had located it when Doug suddenly knotted his hands into the bedsheets, screaming out his name as a wave of pleasure rolled over him. Tom smiled devilishly as he pumped his rock hard member against the sensitive nub, again and again and again. Doug screamed and moaned, writhing on the bed as wave after wave of bliss crashed into him. Doug unknotted his fingers from the sheets, reaching one upward to roam over Tom's now sweat slicked chest, and allowing the other to slide down to his own throbbing erection. He swiped a finger over the tip, spreading the moisture that had been gathering there down the length of his thick shaft, wrapping his fingers around his member as he began to pump it in cadence with Tom's thrusts. He felt the pressure building within him as Tom slammed himself harder and harder into his tight hole. He tried to hold back, but when he felt Tom's hand replace his own on his cock, he couldn't contain himself any longer. He cried out in overwhelming pleasure as he came, releasing his orgasm in quick spurts on to Tom's stomach. Tom grunted as he pumped himself harder into Doug, reaching his own orgasm a moment later. He slowly withdrew himself from his lover, carefully pulling off the condom that contained the results of their lovemaking. He tied off the end and dropped it into the wastebasket before collapsing onto the bed. They lay there, side by side, struggling to regain their breath as they tried to recover from the powerful experience. When Doug began to regain his senses, he reached over to pull the smaller man to his chest, wrapping an arm tightly around him as he hoisted their bodies up on the bed to rest against the pillows. He reached down to pull the sheet over them as they lay there, entranced by each other's eyes.

"Was that okay?" Tom asked after a moment, still slightly breathless.

Doug chuckled lightly as he leaned over to place a gentle kiss upon his lover's cheek. "That was amazing Tommy. It was better than I ever could have imagined"

Tom sighed in relief. "I just...I've never really done that before. I can't believe that you wanted me to...you know. It sounds stupid but I kind of always pictured you as the dominating type."

"Well babe, I usually am. But I just...I've never done anything like that before, you know...with a guy. I thought I'd let you show me the ropes. But now that I have a better idea of how this works, I might just have to take a little more  
control next time." he said, grinning.

A fresh wave of lust rolled over Tom at the thought. He wrapped his arms around the larger man's neck as he kissed him with all passion he could muster. "I might just have to take you up on that. Right now sounds good." he  
whispered seductively, trailing his tongue across Doug's jaw as he reached down to gently stroke his lover's still semi erect cock.

Doug moaned lightly at the touch, but with great reluctance, he reached down and removed Tom's hand from his member, intertwining their fingers as he brought it up to rest on his chest. "Tommy, as good as that sounds I don't really  
think I'm up to that right now." he said gently.

Tom felt the old feeling of rejection creeping up on him, but it was quickly squashed as he saw that Doug was rubbing his forehead, obviously in pain, but trying very hard to hide it. Tom reached a hand up to brush the sweaty hair  
from his lover's brow, fully revealing a dark crescent shaped scar right below his hairline. He examined it carefully as he ran a finger over the mark. "Doug, are you okay?" he asked.

"Better than okay, I just...it kind of creeps up on me sometimes, you know. It's really not as bad as it looks. I just get these headaches sometimes, when I get too worked up or I get too tired." he replied, voice slightly strained as the  
headache began to intensify.

Tom pulled himself up to place his lips on Doug's forehead, gently kissing the scar. For the first time, he was confronted with the realization of just how close Doug had come to death. He felt his eyes begin to tear as a feeling of  
guilt overtook him. He placed his head on Doug's chest, not wanting him to see the emotion that his face held. "I'm so sorry Doug, I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you got shot. It should have been me, not you." he  
choked out as the tears began to flow more freely down his cheeks. He was stunned when the larger man grabbed him tightly, forcing him to meet his gaze.

"Don't you ever say that again. I don't blame you, or anyone else for this." he said as he gestured his scar. "I'm the one who decided to take that case. I'm the one who didn't care that I was putting my life in danger. I was so fucking  
arrogant, I thought that I was invincible. But you know what, I'm not. I'm lucky to be alive. And I don't intend to spend another minute of my life taking it for granted. When that bullet hit me, it woke me up. It made me realize that I have a little boy who needs me here and it made me realize that I need you. That bullet brought me back to you." he said as he wiped the tears from Tom's cheeks.

"Doug, I just...It kills me to think that I could have lost you." he replied shakily.

Doug kissed the younger man softly, tasting the salt of his tears on his lips. "You're never gonna lose me Tommy, I'm yours for as long as you want me."

"I'll always want you."

"Then you'll always have me." Doug whispered as Tom laid his head back on his chest.

They lay there in silence, wrapped tightly in each other's arms as they drifted off to sleep, feeling as if they were each right where they belonged.

..........

 

Doug stretched himself out on the large bed, yawning as he awoke from the deepest sleep he had had in months. He felt a small surge of panic as he realized that Tom was no longer next to him, but it was quickly squashed when he heard the sounds of laughter coming from the next room. He sat up, scanning the floor for his clothing. He stood up when he spotted his jeans, wincing a little as he pulled them up over his slightly sore bottom. He smiled at the sight that was waiting for him when he entered the living room. Clavo and Tom were sitting on the couch with their feet propped up on the coffee table, laughing at the old episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle they were watching. Toys were scattered across the floor, indicating to Doug that Clavo had been awake for a while. He walked over to stand at the back of the couch, reaching a hand down to ruffle the boy's hair.

"Hey buddy, good morning. You having fun with Uncle Tommy?" he asked his nephew.

Tom smiled as he heard the sound of his lover's voice. He turned his head towards Doug as he responded. "We've been having a blast. We got dressed, had some breakfast, and then Clavo here gave me an hour long lesson on the history of the Ninja Turtles." he said as he gestured to the pile of toys on the carpet.

Doug chuckled in response, having gotten that lesson a few times himself. "You didn't have to do all that man, you could have gotten me up."

Tom beamed up at the older man. "No problem at all, me and the kid had everything under control. Didn't we Clavo?" he asked the little boy seated next to him, who nodded in agreement. "Plus, you looked so cute sleeping that we didn't want to bother you." he said teasingly with a sly grin on his lips.

Doug smiled knowingly at the younger man, suppressing the urge to lean over and kiss him. Luckily, the feeling subsided as a deep rumbling began to well up in his stomach. He glanced sheepishly at Tom as he realized that the man had heard the thunderous noise. Tom just laughed and pointed to the kitchen.

"I kind of figured you'd be starving when you finally rolled out of bed. We left a plate on the stove for you." he said, returning his attentions to the cartoon.

Doug made his way into the kitchen and was pleasantly surprised to find that the plate that was left for him was piled up with a delicious looking breakfast. Bacon, eggs, hash browns and a stack of pancakes that he quickly realized were in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head. He grabbed the plate eagerly, making his way to the small dining room that was attached to the living room. He devoured the food hungrily, not even minding that it was cold. When he had finished off the last few bites of the pancakes, he slumped back in his chair, completely satisfied. He smiled as he called out his gratitude to Tom. "That was fantastic. Where the heck did you learn to cook like that? You couldn't even cook a hot dog without burning it before."

Tom stood up from his place on the couch, walking over to collect Doug's plate and deposit it in the sink. "I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" he replied laughingly to the man that was following behind him as he walked into the kitchen.

Doug glanced around the corner to make sure that Clavo was still focused on the TV before he reached forward to grab Tom by the waist, spinning him around as he pulled the smaller form to his own. "So am I." he whispered as he pressed his lips firmly onto his lover's. Tom almost melted under the touch as he returned the kiss lovingly. They pulled their lips apart after a moment, still holding each other tightly as Doug glanced around the corner again, finding that his nephew had not moved from his place on the sofa. He returned his eyes to Tom's, smiling as he saw that the younger man's expression was one of pure happiness. Tom leaned up to place one more quick peck on Doug's lips before breaking their embrace, returning to his place at the sink to finish up the few dishes. Doug turned to go back into the living room when he heard Tom speak.

"Hey, why don't you go get dressed? I wanna show you around the business before we get started on unpacking that truck."

"Yeah, that sounds great. Just let me get ready." Doug replied, checking on Clavo before making his way back into Tom's bedroom. He grabbed a clean t-shirt from his bag, sliding it on over his jeans as he searched the floor for his shoes. He finally found them peeking out from under the bed. He pulled on a fresh pair of socks before slipping his feet into the worn sneakers. They were so old they were beginning to fray around the edges, but he just couldn't bring himself to part with them. He grabbed an old flannel shirt from his bag, tying it around his waist as he stepped back out into the living room, ready to go. Tom and Clavo were waiting for him and the three made their way out of the house, crossing the lot to reach the back door of the business. Tom unlocked it, stepping aside to allow them to enter. Doug lingered just inside the door, waiting for Tom to turn on the lights. His eyes widened as Tom flipped the switch, illuminating the thirty-two lane bowling alley. It was better than Doug had expected, decorated in what could only be described as a 50's diner motif. He scanned over the huge space, finding shining chrome and red leather at every turn. His eyes followed the pattern of the black and white tiles that lead down to the gleaming wood of the lanes. He turned back to Tom, smiling when he saw that the man was grinning from ear to ear.

"So what do you think of my little alley." he asked, genuinely interested in the other man's opinion.

"Tommy, I…I'm stunned. It's amazing. Did you do all of this yourself?"

"Naw, I just fixed it up a little bit." he lied. This place had been a dump when he had found it, buying it for a ridiculously low price due to the condition it had been in. But after three months of long days, late nights and a whole lot of back breaking labor, he had restored the building to its former glory.

"Well, whatever you did, it turned out great. I never thought I'd be saying these words, but here goes. This is one very cool bowling alley." Doug replied, genuinely impressed by what Tom had accomplished. He glanced down at Clavo, noting the slightly bored look on his face. "So what do you think buddy, you like it?" he asked curiously. Clavo just shrugged his shoulders, seemingly disinterested until his eyes locked on something across the room. They lit up like a christmas tree as he pointed at the cluster of video game machines that filled a corner at the end of the small snack area. He jumped up and down, filled with excitement. "Uncle Doug, Uncle Doug, can I play them. Please, please, please?" he begged.

Doug smiled at the child's enthusiasm, reaching a hand into his pocket to search for some quarters. His smile fell when he came up empty handed. But he was saved when Tom noticed the look on his face and stepped in, grabbing the little boy's hand, pulling him gently towards the small arcade. Doug followed close behind, glancing around as he walked, still taking in his surroundings. Clavo looked like he was in heaven as he found himself surrounded by all of his favorite games.

"Hey Clavo, wanna see something really cool?" Tom asked the little boy.

"Yeah."

"Watch this." he commanded as he reached behind the Pac-Man machine and plugged it into the socket, bringing the game to life. He smiled at the boy as he opened the coin slot and flipped a small switch that was housed inside. The machine dinged loudly, words coming onto the screen that read FREE PLAY. Clavo laughed loudly, clapping his hands. "There you go buddy, you can play all you want and you never need to put in one quarter."

Clavo just smiled in gratitude, hugging Tom as he exclaimed "Thank you Uncle Tommy, Thank you."

Tom hugged the little boy back tightly. The sound of his happiness was all the thanks he needed. He stepped back to retrieve a milk crate from under the air hockey table, setting it down in from of the machine as he hoisted Clavo onto it. Clavo grabbed the joystick and began to guide the little yellow figure across the screen, grinning from ear to ear at his new found toy. Tom left the little boy to it, walking over to Doug and throwing an arm over his shoulder as he guided the larger man away from the games and into the nearby snack bar. They sat down at the counter, spinning the stools around to watch Clavo play.

"You know," Doug said, breaking the silence, "you are really great with him."

Tom just smiled, turning his head to meet Doug's gaze. "Yeah, well he's a great kid. You've done a great job with him."

"Thanks. I've tried so hard to keep him safe that sometimes I think I've been too overprotective. I just don't want anything to happen to him, you know?" Doug replied with concern in his voice.

"Nothing is ever going to happen to that boy, not as long as he has you." Tom stated. "And now he has me too." he added.

"Yeah." Doug responded thoughtfully, a smile playing on his lips.

Tom reached for Doug's hand, but was rebuffed when Doug quickly pulled it out of his reach. He froze for a moment, perplexed by the other man's actions. He began to speak but stopped as he saw Doug begin to explain.

"Tommy, listen, I'm not sure if we should be doing this in front of Clavo. He's just a little boy and I'm not really sure if he would understand it if he saw us together like this, you know?

Tom started to laugh, reaching over and clutching Doug's hand despite his objections. "Um yeah, about that," he said, still chuckling. "I don't think he would be as surprised as you think he would be."

Doug looked at his lover in confusion, not quite understanding what he meant. "Why would you say that?" he asked curiously.

"Well, Clavo asked me something this morning that I didn't really know how to answer at first. He was helping me make pancakes and out of nowhere he asked me if I loved you. I figured that honesty was the best approach, so I said yes." he explained, noting that Doug's expression had changed to one of mild anger. He clarified the statement. "I didn't say I was in love with you, I just said that, yes, I loved you. I didn't really know what else to say. But then Clavo really surprised me. He looked me straight in the eye and told me that he was glad I loved you, because you loved me too. I was speechless, I literally couldn't even think of a response to that. I finally asked him how he knew that. His exact words were "I'm not stupid Uncle Tommy, I can tell by the way he looks at you." I asked him what he meant, and he told me that you look at me the way you look at the picture he has of his Aunt Marta. And then he told me that I look at you the same way. I tried to deny it, tried to tell him that we were just friends, but he wouldn't let me out that easy. He told me that it was okay, that he had a friend who had two dads, and he didn't think there was anything wrong with it. He told me how sad you were when I left, told me how he could hear you crying at night after you thought he'd gone to sleep. He loves you Doug, I think he just wants you to be happy." he finished, slipping his fingers further between the larger ones he held.

Doug was in shock. Was he really so transparent that a six year old boy could see that he was madly in love with Tom. He glanced over at Clavo, catching the little boy's eyes as they quickly turned back to the game in front of him, his expression one of amused guilt, like a child who had just caught his parents kissing. Doug smiled as he realized that Tom was right, Clavo knew and he didn't care, he was just glad to see that his Uncle was happy again. Doug just laughed, wondering why he had ever been worried in the first place. Clavo really wasn't the kind of kid to get bent out of shape easily, he rolled with whatever came his way. A wave of relief washed over him as he realized that he didn't have to hide his feelings anymore. He could be as open about his love for Tom as he wanted to be and he didn't have to worry about the way it would affect his child. He gazed lovingly at Tom, leaning forward to kiss him gently. He pulled back slowly, darting an eye to Clavo, noting that the boy had seen the display of affection and was smiling broadly at them. He smiled back at the boy, slipping his fingers out of Tom's grip and wrapping the arm around his waist as he pulled the smaller man off of the barstool. Tom wound his own arm around Doug's waist as they walked back over to where Clavo stood.

"Hey buddy," Doug said gently when they reached the boy. "Uncle Tommy told me about the little talk you guys had this morning. Are you really okay with this?" he asked, gesturing the position in which he and Tom currently stood.

"Yeah, why not." he replied. "You and Uncle Tommy are boyfriends, right?"

Doug choked a little at the boy's blunt statement. Tom chuckled, amused by his lovers sudden discomfort. He answered the question for him. "Yes we are Clavo. I love your Uncle Doug very much. Is it okay with you if he wants to be my boyfriend?"

Clavo nodded as he replied. "It's fine with me. I like you, you make Uncle Doug smile." he said genuinely.

"Well thanks Clavo, I like you too."

"Thanks. Oh yeah, one more thing. If you ever make him cry again, I'm gonna have to kick your ass." he said, deadly serious.

Doug suppressed a giggle when he heard his nephew's threat, knowing that he couldn't let him use that kind of language. "Clavo!" he exclaimed "Where in the world did you learn to say something like that."

Clavo grinned sheepishly. "Um, Aunt Judy told me to say it to Uncle Tommy."

Doug chuckled at the boy's admission. "She did, huh?" he said, shaking his head in amusement at his friend's overprotectiveness. Tom shot him a confused look, not realizing what was so funny. Doug grinned in response, explaining the joke to his lover. "I kind of told Jude about what happened between us. When I told her that I was quitting the force, she figured out the real reason that I was moving so far away. That I was leaving to get you back."

Tom smiled at the thought of his old friend. It was nice to see that Judy was still as feisty as she ever was. "Well I might just have to give her a call and tell her that she can come kick my ass anytime she likes."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. She might just take you up on that offer. She was pretty pissed when you left. Something about losing her shopping partner." Doug said teasingly.

"Hey," Tom said defensively, "that was only a few times, and I think she only brought me along to carry her bags."

They continued their playful bickering for a few more minutes until they were interrupted by Clavo, asking them to please keep it down, they were distracting him from his game. Doug threw his hands up in surrender, pulling Tom with him as they backed away from the boy, still laughing. Tom expression changed, suddenly remembering something very important. He grabbed Doug by the hand, leading him towards the front door of the business. They stopped just short of the double doors, Doug looking at quizzically.

"Where are we going Tommy?" he asked.

"I've got to show you something. You'll love it, just trust me." Tom said excitedly.

"I trust you babe." Doug replied, meaning the words with all of his heart. He allowed Tom to place his hands over his eyes as he led him outside through the front doors. When Tom had positioned him in front of his surprise, he pulled the hands away, revealing the large neon sign that hung on the brick wall of the building. He could feel his smile grow as he scanned his eyes over the letters.

"McQuaid Lanes. You were right, I do love it." he said, pulling the smaller man close. "I can't believe you named this place after us."

"Well, that's not exactly how it happened. You see, when I first came here, I was so fed up with everything that I didn't really want to be me anymore. I needed a fresh start. So one day, I was in town and this woman asked me my name. I told her that it was Tom McQuaid. I'm not even really sure why, It was just the first thing that popped into my head. I've kind of been him ever since. So when I ordered the sign, I just wrote down McQuaid on the form. It was sort of symbolic, you know? It was a like a new beginning for me."

Doug leaned close, kissing Tom passionately, right there on the street, not caring if anyone saw. He broke the contact after a moment, gazing intently into the beautiful brown eyes of the man he loved. "This is a new beginning for us both. I love you Tommy."

"I love you too Doug."

The two men held each other tightly, gazing up at the sign that truly was a symbol, of their shared past and their new life, together, as a family.


End file.
